Monday, January 31, 2011


"videotape" radiohead

So here are the infamous blisters which have healed so so soo much since Friday. Please ignore my hideous toenails, I apologize if you start to feel sick (I have just accepted that I will forever have ugly toes and will never be allowed in a beauty salon for a pedicure). I have been putting hydrogen peroxide on them about 2-3 times a day (it hurts so much, but it works the best and disinfects... plus it bubbles up and looks really cool haha). Anyways I found a way to bandage them; take a bit of a cotton ball (enough to cover the blister) or maybe lamb's wool (which I'm trying tomorrow) and then wrap foam tape around the toe.

This Nexcare foam tap works best - expensive but worth it for the worst blisters/cuts etc.

I couldn't rehearse today with my teacher because she threw out her back! I feel so bad... I did however do some more choreography... still waiting for the finished product though.

Anyone else have some interesting blister remedies they would like to share?

Friday, January 28, 2011

throw away your television

"throw away your television" red hot chili peppers

here are two of my "dance photos" for auditions. Kitri, no?

Our school hosted the San Francisco SI audition tonight. Wow. The teacher (I do not know his name at the moment) is incredible - so flexible and such BEAUTIFUL feet. Wow. I think I was watching him more than the students! haha.

Anyways I had another Gamzatti rehearsal today. We've decided to change the diagonal turning sequence to the POB version that Elisabeth Platel did (it's on youtube!). She does a double pique turn into another double turn with bourees three times in a small circle around herself. It just works better for me, and it's also a better breathing part.

This rehearsal we especially worked on my hands. I tend to tense them up so much that I crumple them up. It feels as if all the blood is rushing to my fingers and they feel so dense and heavy. So I am working on not only relaxing them, but also extending them. We also worked on the grand allegro menege. We had to adjust all the directions due to the stage dimensions (which are smaller than we expected - I barely can fit my jumps! )... Anyways this rehearsal was extremely productive, and I made sure to eat more this time so I didn't feel too weak this time around.

Afterwards I did some more choreography for my contemporary piece. I think that I have a basic layout of the entire piece, but there are large gaps in between with no choreography. So I just have to fill in the space.

I found an interesting video posted on someone's facebook. It was five Russian ballerina (Osipova, Semionova, and Kondourova to name a few)... ANyway it was called "Cinque". It was so cool; first they started out in a straight line across the stage all on their own chair just doing some poses. Then they each had a solo, and then the conclusion was them back on their chairs again. Unfortunately I cannot find it on youtube =[

Need some rest; I have Texas Ballet Theatre and Tulsa Ballet auditions tomorrow =O

Thursday, January 27, 2011

while my guitar gently weeps

"while my guitar gently weeps" from across the universe soundtrack

ACross the Universe is an incredible film. I absolutely love the Beatles, and this movie made me love them even more. I found it amazing that they put together so many Beatles songs and made it all into a story! It's incredible. The movie is tragic, comedic, and romantic. All in one... it's not you're typical "musical". I wouldn't even classify it as a musical. My favorite song from the movie? There are a few! "I've Just Seen a Face", "While my Guitar Gently Weeps", "Strawberry Fields Forever", "Across the Universe", and of course "Happiness is a Warm Gun". My favorite character is Max. He is just so open and free. Unfortunately he is caught between his love and Vietnam. I admire how relaxed he is.

On to more pressing matters: ballet.
Gamzatti rehearsal yesterday was so rough. I have rehearsal again tomorrow, and I will be choreographing as well. Gamzatti is soooo hard and exhausting! Just when you think it's over - it's not. I'm doing the version with all the jumps in the menege (forgive my spelling) at the end. The jumps are crazy because by then I'm dead. I need some Clif bars just for rehearsal!

Our school is still "undecided" about what we are performing in May. My teacher told us that there are many factors in choosing a ballet such as: how many boys, how strong the boys are, height, ability, costume/scenery renting, and music. What we do know is that it's a piece we have never done before and it's not Romantic (since that would be too difficult apparently). We do know that we are doing something with Mark Godden's choreography and the Level 1 students are doing Pas de Trois from Paquita. I just want to know what I'm casted!!! The suspense is killing me!

I have two auditions this Saturday: Texas Ballet Theatre II and Tulsa Ballet II. I have my photos and resume all ready to go... I'm just anxious to get it over with (and nervous since they're my first company auditions!)

I need to start some homework now or else I will never accomplish it.
So good night all!

Wednesday, January 26, 2011


"tangerine" by led zeppelin. one of the best all-time bands ever.

Not much to say at the moment because I am utterly exhausted. Will write more maybe tonight or tomorrow.... or next week. Gosh I'm soooo tired!

Update for now: had second Gamzatti rehearsal with my teacher. I didn't eat much today so I almost fainted... It is so difficult to lose weight while dancing. I figure I can afford to be skinny now for company auditions, and then put on some for health.

Will write more soon, I promise my readers!

Sunday, January 23, 2011

somebody to love

'somebody to love' by queen

Right now I'm in the kitchen cooking some pasta, unfortunately it's not my own tomato sauce... still need my mom to teach me how to make her homemade tomato sauce. I also need to figure out how to cook the pasta without the salt-bubbles frothing over. I should probably use a bigger pot... or less salt?

Everything here is a bit quiet because most of the students went to the PNB audition. Being that I'm a Vaganova-trained student and I'm short, I chose not to even bother. I can use that extra $30 for a better-suited audition. Speaking of auditions, I will be having my first auditions next weekend!! Two in one day! Texas Ballet Theatre II and Tulsa Ballet II. Just need to get money and print out some headshots and resumes and I will be set!

Yesterday I watched Amelie... an amazing French film with Audrey Tautou. I love it because she is so intelligent but quirky. Her funny smile makes her seem so innocent yet devious. I just love this movie because it's so clever, especially the narration. Some of my favorite scenes are the suicidal fish, Amelie pondering the number of orgasms happening at that moment (15!), the garden gnome's worldwide trips, and of course the street beggar who says "Sorry madam, I don't work on Sundays." It is such a feel-good movie and makes me want to do some good in the world. But I mean really change people's lives for the better. (Sounds like a resolution, no?)

What else did I do today? Oh, yes, I choreographed more for my contemporary piece. It seems to be shaping up more. I had reached a hump, and today I climbed over it. I showed the mere 30 seconds I accomplished to a friend. He said he liked it, and it seemed like he genuinely did enjoy it. He gave me some advice to think about. So until tomorrow I will keep thinking and listening to it.

After rehearsal, I walked to Panera with some friends. I ordered a "Frozen Mango". Very delicious, but it was 330 calories! Ouch.... ANyways now I'm back to where I started this blog; sitting in the kitchen eating my pasta. I don't like the sauce... like usual, all these Wannabe-Italian companies always season it too much.

So now onto a new week, that I will promise myself to be better than last week. (Did I mention my boyfriend and I broke up last week). So I will make this an amazing week. Oh and you know what else?? 32 days until I'm home! (I'm going home to take two auditions).

Signing off for now,

Thursday, January 20, 2011

all my loving

today was an interesting day, however I think that I will talk about it when the appropriate time comes.

Just watched Alonso's Carmen with Maya Plisetskaya (my favrite ballerina ever) and Nikolai Fadeyechev. It was absolutely stunning. She looked older in the film, but she still had her distinguishable artistry and power. My favorite part of the ballet was the bull fight. I loved the dancer all in black playing the part of the bull. I thought the choreography was fantastic, and who doesn't love Bizet's Carmen?

I got an idea from "four eyed ballerina" about sharing things in dance bags. so here it is, this is my over-stuffed dance bag:

And here are the goods: two pairs Grishko pointe shoes, half socks (used as toe pads), spray bottle, hammer, The Stick, Advil, 2nd Skin, scissors, Stitch Kit, leg warmers, overalls, skirt, mukluks, eaten Clif bar (yumm!), IcyHot, rubber balls, ballet notebook, Company and summer intensive information folder, The Fountainhead...

There is so much more, however I would probably suffocate trying to empty it all out!
The Fountainhead is a book suggested to me by a dear friend. It is a philosophy book about Objectivism (human's main goal in life is their own pursuit of happiness). I feel that it will be a tedious read (over 500 pages!), but I think it is important for me to read and understand it since it has greatly affected Philosophy as we know it today.

What else happened today?
- began Ballet Pedagogy class
- began my new additional workout/conditioning (varying walking/jogging speeds and elevations, abs, back, stretching)
- drew an extremely quick sketch for art class of a Clif Bar wrapper
Not too shabby for 5 minutes? And wow, I love Clif bars.

Upcoming Goals for the weekend:
- apply to Cincinnati University for dance
- find more online colleges
- arrange audition with Arts Ballet Theatre of Florida in Miami
- read
- play out in the sun (Beach perhaps?)
- keep working out!!

Signing out for now! Need to do calculus and english homework.... Anyone else want to share the contents of their dance bag?

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

happiness is a warm gun

much to the discretion of the title of this post (beatles song that I'm listening to), i do not do drugs or shoot up... just thought i'd mention that.

anyways speaking of beatles, i LOVE the beatles.
did i mention i love the beatles?
well i do, I LOVE THE BEATLES!!!

anyways, on to ballet, the passion of my life. hah

latest update: audition video filmed today. I did some barre, center, and Gamzatti variation.

My teacher was a principal at the Paris Opera at the time when ol' Ruddie was there. So he always encourages me by telling me his Nureyev stories. Like me, Ruddie didn't have the best feet or turn out. My teacher said that Nureyev knew this, but the reason why he was so successful was because of his stage presence. Ruddie said that if he had not had the stage, he would not have been successful like Baryshnikov. My teacher also brought up Vladimir Vasiliev (whom he has danced with on numerous occasions when P.O.B. and Mariinsky guested together or galas etc.). There was an interview with Vasiliev, and he was asked what makes a successful dancer. Vladimir said (I am recounting from memory of what my teacher said), "good feet... good turnout... high jump... and if you can turn that's even better! But you are nothing without artistry."

My teacher told me this twice today. Once before partnering (awkwardly in the corner of the room with all the other students waiting hehe) and once before we filmed my video. Not to mention he also told me about Nureyev on Monday morning for our Student-Teacher Conference. I think it is amazing how someone can be so influential in our life.

For me (in ballet), it is my mentor and Gelsey Kirkland. I had heard about her from one of my old teachers, and I also read her autobiography. Then I was in her class for a three week period at a summer intensive. After this intensive, I gained an extreme amount of respect for her work. I suppose that when you work with someone very closely (even for a mere three weeks), you gain a mutual knowledge of the art you are pursuing. Everything that she taught me that summer influences my ballet classes every day.

Anyone else want to share their ballet idols?

This has been a hard week for me, I will explain on another day why... but for now I would like to share with everyone what my amazing friend got my today. He surprised me with this cute little puppy that lights up and says "I love you" when you squeeze it. It's now on my key chain, and I will squeeze it anytime I feel stressed or lonely. I love this person so much, he is one of the most warm-hearted people I have ever met. I mean that when I say it too.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

proudest monkey

blog title is song i'm listening to.

latest update: I will be competing in the American Dance Competition in Orlando this March! I am excited but nervous because I have never competed in classical dance (or by myself for that matter). The scariest moment was signing all the application forms and releases. I just closed my eyes and clicked 'send'. But the deed is done, and I will be competing!

I will be doing the Gamzatti variation from La Bayadere as my classical solo. This was narrowed down from the jumping Paquita, Medora, and Kitri variations. I decided on Gamzatti because I felt that it had everything: jumps, big turns, little turns, and a 'menege' at the end (forgive my lack of French spelling). The only problem with this variation that I foresee is it is very demanding if you lack stamina. So I will need to practice breathing more in my everyday dancing and do some additional cardio.

Because of lack of funds (I am independently doing this competition), I will be choreographing my own contemporary piece to Pink Floyd's "One of These Days". What was the inspiration? My dear brother took me to The Machine's concert at BB King's NYC for my Christmas present. It was probably the best night of my life this past year. I absolutely LOVE Pink Floyd, and to hear their songs practically perfectly replicated was astounding and mind-blowing. Most of the time I wish I had been born in the 50's so that I could experience the music and culture of the 60's and 70's. I feel so out of place in the twenty-first century. Would I trade in all my technology (laptop, camera, cell phone)? Absolutely, yes. I also think that ballet was better back then - more meaningful and artistic.

Anyways back to explaining my contemporary piece. If you are familiar with "One of These Days", you would know about its explicit lyrics in the middle of the song.

"One of these days, I'm going to rip you into little pieces"

I am actually only using the beginning half of the song (since my piece can't be more than 2:45), so it is only instrumental. However the meaning of the lyrics is still included in the song: angst, frustration, bad temper, should I say it? Murder, revenge, and lust. The music is amazing because it starts of quiet and gets louder and more distinguished as the song goes. There is one part of the music where it changes all of a sudden and it sounds like an echoing with vibrations from all over the place. It is incredible - too hard to describe. So listen to it! the part I'm talking about is at 2:48.

If you like the music, also check out Roland Petit's choreography to it with the National Ballet of China... it's incredible.

Last, but certainly not least, I am doing the Flames of Paris pas de deux with my good friend that I dance with. I chose this pas because I can jump. I say this and laugh, because that is practically the entire pas. It is also very exciting and dynamic - after all it was the French Revolution.

This week I will be filming my audition video - very intense because I'm so close to the end of my training!

Hoping to put up more pictures/vids etc. when I can!
Until then, I'm signing off for now.

Monday, January 10, 2011

autumn photoshoot

look close, there are swans! i was trying to catch up to them...

a good friend of mine... thought this pic was amazing. so intense. love it

random shots

Christmas Tree 2010!!
Christmas Eve Dinner! My brother and I couldn't help playing with our food a little =O

Saturday, January 8, 2011

happy new year!

I want to wish everyone a happy new year, and wish everyone the best! I spent my winter holiday home with family and friends for about two and a half weeks. Yes, I live up in the northeast, and we had a blizzard! I don't consider it very severe, however the winds got up to 50 m.p.h. I only took one ballet class. It was David Howard's class at Steps on Broadway. It was very simple and laidback which was good for me since I was out of shape. There were two ABT company members (I do not remember their names). Mr. Howard is an older English gentleman, very polite. I wish it were not an open class because I would like to hear what he has to say about the body and its movements.

My school is beginning the year with its annual choreography workshops. Our innovative choreographer, Mark Godden, will be setting yet another piece for our spring shows. So far the choreography is awesome, and it is so much fun to dance! I am so excited, and I hope I get the opportunity to take part in the choreography for the show.

I have not thought of any New Year Resolutions yet... I am still working on that. Last year my resolution was to be stress-free, and it didn't quite work out. But hey, that's the life of a ballerina is it not?

My ankle that had the cortisone injection is alright, sometimes it hurts, but it is nothing compared to the pain I had back in November.

Perhaps my resolution could be something like:
- get a company contract
- read the pile of books I have been wanting to read (zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance, the fountainhead, my uncle oswald, cyrano de bergerac.... and this is just to name a few).

At the moment, I am reading Slaughterhouse-Five. At first I didn't like it, but I am starting to understand the protagonist's mentality (or lack of rather). I think that he is struggling with his memories of WWII, and by putting himself in a different place, such as Tralfamadore, he can imagine a world of peace and prosperity. But in reality, the aliens from Tralfamadore tell him that they do have war, and that war is inevitable. Thus you can never escape from war. The moral is to appreciate the beauty of life and treasure those moments. This book is very similar to Leonardo Di Caprio movie, "Shutter Island", in the way that each protagonist went crazy in result of WWII.

Logging off for now, more blogging to come!